Officer, I Assure You This IS What It Looks Like
by Kaytalla
Summary: Kurt and Blaine get it on in the car, what happens when they get caught? One SHOT SMUTT
1. Chapter 1

**So, I just read a one shot where Kurt and Blaine were fooling around in a car, and thought I'd do my own little car smutt scene, with some humor. ;D Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>Kurt was in the back part of his Lincoln, with the middle and back seats folded down. He and Blaine were both as bare as the day they were born, and Blaine was bobbing his head up and down over Kurt like he was a natural born cock sucker. Kurt moaned loudly and fisted Blaines hair,<p>

"N-no more baby. I w-want to c-c-c-um with you in side m-e. _Please_" Blaine pulled off with a lewd pop and attached himself to Kurts lips. Kurt could taste the salty sweet of his precum on Blaines mouth and moaned at the taste.

Blaine reached beside him, pulling a bottle of Lube. He slicked up three of his fingers, and without breaking contact with Kurts lips, he pushed one in. Kurt moaned and thrust up into Blaine. They'd done this so many times before, Kurt had learned how to phase out the pain and only focus on the pleasure beneath it. Blaine pushed a second in and began scissoring them,

"G-God Blaine! M-more. _PLEASE!_" Blaine chuckled and crooked his fingers,

"Say it, Kurt. Say how much you want my cock. Dirty cock-slut, that's what you are. Already fucking yourself on my fingers, such a whore for me. Say it, say you're a whore for me." Kurt moaned loudly and arched his back,

"I-I'm a whore, only for you Blaine, I-i-GOD!" Blaine had thrust his cock into Kurt and was pounding into Kurts prostate,

"I don't get how a-a cock slut like y-you can be so FUCKING tight!" He slammed into Kurts prostate and the car was rocking. Kurt was letting out loud, unrestrained moans,

"G-gonna c-come, Blaine!" Blaine gripped the base of Kurts cock tight,

"Did I say you could come yet? Stop being so FUCKING impatient." Kurt mewled, appreciatively at the dirty talk, and tried thrusting into Blaines hand, but the older boy held him down and continued to pound into his prostate, "Beg for it."

"Please! Oh god Blaine, Please let me come! PLEASE!" Blaine let go and thrust one more time into the smaller boy and they both screamed each others names and Blaine rested on top of Kurt. He kissed him on the temple and chuckled,

"I love you."

"I love you too." Just then there was a knock on the window and a light shown through, and a manly voice told them to get clothed and get out of the car."

* * *

><p>There was a knock at the door and Burt grumbled something about 'damn sales people having no reserve for decent hours' Carole and Finn chuckled. Burt opened the front door to reveal a police officer holding Blaines arm with one hand and Kurts in the other. Blaines parents were out of town and when called said to take Blaine to the Hummel-Hudsons and let them deal with it how they saw fit. Blaine had then called his mom a sadist and said he was going to be killed by Burt.<p>

"Mr. Hummel? I'm Officer Brown. May I come in?" Burt nodded, trying to make eye contact with one of the boys. This had to be a misunderstanding. They all stepped into the living room and Carole and Finn immediately knew what was going on. They were both trying to hold back hysterical laughter.

"Whats going on Officer?" Burt asked with concern,

"I found these two fornicating in a car." Burts face turned crimson but the officer continued, "I heard yelling and swearing, and terms that usually sound like domestic violence dialogue, so I went to investigate. On further inspection I realized it was 'dirty talk' and had them clothe themselves and come with me." The man actually used quotations around 'dirty talk' "I can leave them with you? They have a one hundred dollar ticket each for public indecency and disturbing the peace, but since they're both seventeen, there will be no other charges regarding the sexual nature of how I found them." Burt nodded and took the two tickets from the officer and shut the front door after him.

He turned to Kurt who opened his mouth to defend himself but Burt held up his hand,

"I don't want to know."


	2. PLEASE HELP THESE PEOPLE

I just wanted to spread the word.

I don't live anywhere near Connecticut or I sure as hell would be out there helping.

But it has come to my attention that the most hated people in America (the westboro baptist church) are planning to picket at the funerals of the children and staff who died yesterday.

It's in this message circulating facebook:

The Westboro Baptist Church announced plans to picket the funerals of the children and adults killed in Friday's school shooting in Newtown, Connecticut! I'm calling on you all to spread the news, get people aware, and go form a human wall to protect these families! If you have friends, family, or you live or are near CT, then GO! I will keep you up to date, but SHARE this to everyone!

I know this site reaches people from all around the world, and I feel honored to have to many followers I felt I needed to share this.

Please, do what you can to help, if you're like me and there's no way for you to be there in person, then spread this around as much as you can!

For those who are in Connecticut, in the words of our loved Blaine Anderson: COURAGE.


End file.
